How to Feel Safe After Trauma in 10 Steps: The Safe Place Trick

Feeling safe after trauma can be very difficult. Creating a Personal Safe Place is an effective way to create a sense of safety for trauma survivors. This is a step by step guide to creating your own Personal Safe Place, so that you can feel safe once again despite of the traumas you had.

How to feel safe after trauma using the safe place method? The Safe Place Method is a PTSD recovery technique to create a true sense of safety for trauma survivors through detailed description of an ideal personal imaginary Safe Place and creation of fast track pass code to get there.

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Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 1: Recall Happy Times

If you think back over the course of your life, where there are times when you feel genuinely happy and safe like there is an any care of the world?

It might be difficult to just recall a piece of memory just like that when we are suffering from trauma, regardless of whether PTSD is diagnosed or not. This is because trauma’s can cause our brains to focus on the negatives and all the bad things that happened to us in our lifetime. So, if you struggle to remember good times, that is perfectly normal. A very effective way to overcome this is to do a trauma history time line, and then ask yourself what happened in between.

For example, if you have experienced multiple traumas, you may want to about those very briefly on a piece of paper. By brief, I mean using just a few words, and avoiding full sentences if possible.

In my case, my trauma history time line looks like this:

At age 7, physical, emotional, and sexual violence as a child
At age 14, lost parent or support
At age 16, physical and emotional abuse by boarding house staff
At age 20, serious physical and sexual violence as an adult
At age 22, life-threatening military torture
At age 28, emotional abuse and excessive harassment by senior work colleagues
At age 36, sexual assault by a trusted friend

As you can see, these bullet points are very brief. It is it often easy to come up with a list like that, because your brain naturally focuses on things like that.

But remember, the objective of this first step is to recall happy times. So now, let’s focus on what happened in between the times that were listed on your trauma history time line.

For example, in my case, between age 7 and 14, what to me then? I did not list age 8 to 13 as traumatic times. So there must of been some good times during those years. Besides, how did the trauma at age 7 end? Did someone come to my aid? How do the circumstances change?

When I look back in my own history from age 8 to 13, I realize that was one of the happier time that I had in my life. For example,

To stand up to the bullies, I took up martial arts and was able to defend myself
As a child I would not be able to afford martial arts lessons, but my parents were prepared to support me financially
My martial arts instructor took me under his wings, taught me good principles not to abuse my new gain power, gave me confidence and helped me to deal with the bullies without hurting anybody

As you can see, from this personal example, once we have written down our own from history and then keep our focus on what happened between those traumas, we can begin to have a more positive view of ourselves, and our history. For me, this helps me to see:

I am a trauma survivor
I have been resilient in the way I responded to the bullies
I was good enough to be helped by other people, and I was not a liability to them

So, now it is your turn to during history. Why not pause for a moment, gave herself a piece of paper and a pen, and start writing a few things down? You will be surprised how much better you’d feel just by writing a few things down.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 2: Pick a Scene And Stay There For A While

Now, with my martial arts training, I used to dodge all the attacks from the bullies, and make my way safely to the school library. I chose the school library because it is always staffed. So when I call for help, a new someone would hear me. Better still, the library is a very quiet place. So, if someone were to give me verbal abuse, it would easily be heard. I’m new it would be incredibly difficult to bully someone in a tiny primary school library.

So, there it is! My scene is that tiny primary school library. This is my personal imaginary Safe Place!

What about you? Can you identify a place where you new very well as a picture of your personal imaginary safe place? Don’t worry if you never had that kind of hiding place in which to escape.

I had been in situations like that too. It was especially difficult when I was only a child, living in a boarding house, and was bullied by members of staff. There was no way out for me.

If that is your case, do not despair. Picture the scene, and go through rate as if you are watching a video documentary of that part of your life. Then, imagine that you are the director of that film. If you were to change that story to give it a happy ending, what kind of escape route would you create for this little character who is suffering immensely?

Why not take a moment, enjoy a warm and comforting drink and think of something relaxing to do. It could be something as simple as some coloring, gardening, or just go out for a little walk. Whatever you decide, just get on with it, and let your brain goes wild in the imagination and creation of the most perfect escape for this character of yours.

By the way, this imaginary process is also used by many films and book writers. So, if it works alone, surely it’s gonna work for us to. Why not give your try, and you may be pleasantly surprised.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 3: Take Note of The Environment

Okay, so now you should have a picture of your personal imaginary safe place in mind. The third step of creating a safe place is to make the imaginary space real to you so that it functions just like a physical location.

What you want to do here, is to make a close examination of all the objects you can see in this personal imaginary safe place. It is sometimes hard to describe every single objects and details of the scenery. This is especially true when you are feeling very tired. So, here’s a simple trick you can try.

Imagine an artist is sitting in front of a blank canvas, and he is waiting for instruction so that he can paint the most accurate that is in your head. His job is to paint, and your job is to describe every detail you can see to help him put that beautiful scenery you have in your mind onto his canvas.

If you are finding it difficult to complete this step, take a break. Come back to this another day and continue with the work when you’re not so tired. But I can reassure you, taking the time to help this imaginary artist to paint the most accurate description of your personal imaginary safe place is going to worth your while.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 4: Notice The Colors

Okay, so now you should have a very beautiful painting in front of you, at least on your mind. It might be strange to have a separate step to talk about colors when your imaginary safely is is unlikely to be black and white. Even so, this step is particularly designed to focus on little details.

For example, if your personal imaginary safe place is within the cave, then you may want to describe the different shades of grey that you can see on the cave walls. Or, you may want to describe how the slippery grounds and perhaps a little stream of water have slight variance in the colors.

I highly recommend that you take sometime in describing this surrounding. Scientific studies on PTSD recovery have shown that the more details and more vivid the safe places, the better their outcomes.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 5: Notice The Smell

Continue staying in your personal imaginary safe place, and imagine you are there enjoying some quiet time on your own. You lie down on something comfy and begin to relax, knowing that you are safe and finally you have a respite from the crazy world around you.

Now, as you shut your eyes and relax, what can you smell? Is it something of the nature such as flowers and grass? Or is it damp and humid where you find comfort in hiding away from the rest of the world? Or is it dusty old books like those in an old library? Or is it the smell of petrol where you used to find safety behind a petrol station. Or is it just the refreshing faint smell of fresh air, where you used to sit on top of a high place enjoying time of your own?

Make a mental note of that smell. Think of ways to express and describe that smell as if you are sharing with a close friend just how relaxing this special spell can be.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 6: Notice The Sounds

Well, you know the drill now. Still staying in your personal imaginary safe place, now do the same with the sounds you can hear. It may not be a constant kind of sound. For me, in my little library, every now and then, there’s adults talking. And sometimes, there would be kids whispering about what books to get. But I know I was tucked right in in a corner where no one ever goes, and I feel safe there. Yes, there were sounds that adds life to my quiet and private safe place, but I also knew I wasn’t going to be in any danger.

So, what sounds can you hear in your personal imaginary safe place? Sound of a ticking clock? Birds singing? Traffic down the road? Sea waves? Everyone is different, what is relaxing and comforting to you may not be so for others. You may even feel you’ve never experienced a place quite so nice in your entire life. But it doesn’t really matter. Make your personal imaginary safe place real by adding all these sensory details, then, it will work wonders for you.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 7: Notice The Your Bodily Sensation

For this part, it is best done lying down or sitting in a comfy chair or whatever position you find relaxing, comforting and safe. And then, you close your eyes, and go to your personal imaginary safe place. Recall all the senses you’ve described earlier. What can you see with your eyes? What can you hear? What can you smell?

Next, pay attention to your heart rate? Can you count 70 beats? Whether it is beating fast or slow, it does not matter. Neither do you need to be accurate in your counting. After counting 70 beats, can you count 20 deep breaths? What about your muscles? Is your neck stiff? Wiggle it a bit. What about muscles on your face? Can you make 5 difference facial expressions? Perhaps a big frown, and then a lovely smile, or a laughter, or a wink. Whatever you feel like.

Oh, and those heavy shoulders…. rotate that joint a few times. Ha! The spine! That upper back, and lower back. Are they achy? Well, wiggle them a bit too. How about squeezing your bottom a few times and then relaxing them? Oh, and the muscles on your legs too. And now wiggle your toes.

When you have gone through wiggling every bit of your body, just count your heart beats to 70 and your deep breaths to 20 one more time.

How are you feeling now? Is your heart still racing? Is your body still aching? Or has it improved? Whatever you are feeling right now, after doing this exercise, take note of how you feel in every part of your body.

Still staying in your imaginary safe place, recall the things that you can see, hear, and smell as well as the bodily sensation that you can now feel. Just stay there for a little while, relax. Try to relax into a little siesta.

Can’t quite sleep yet? No problem. What else do you need to help you relax? How about an imaginary refreshing glass of water? Or a cool summer breeze? or the warmth of a fire? Add that into the mix.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 8: Notice Your Emotional State

Hopefully, by now, you’ll have a place whether it is real or imaginary where you can feel safe. How are you feeling now? Don’t worry if you can put words to your emotions. Just make a mental note of the peacefulness and the safety of your private space.

Commend yourself for getting this far. That’s a lot of work. You’ve done a great job like that of a novelist, film producer and song writer. You’ve created from almost out of nothing a very special place that brings security to your life, and sweetness in your heart. That is a great achievement!

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 9: Keeping Your Safe Place Safe

Now, having worked so hard in creating such a wonderful place for yourself, take care to protect it. Experts recommend sharing it only with very close and trusted friend. It’s precious to you, and it took a lot of work to create such a beautiful resting place for yourself. You don’t want bullies or monsters of any sort barging in.

Personally, I have not shared mine with anyone else, and writing this article is the first time ever, I talked about my personal imaginary safe place. It’s not easy, but with the hope that it might help fellow traumatized aspies who may find it difficult to access therapies, I feel it would be worth the effort. I trust my fellow aspies.

If you are a keen reader, you will see many therapists recommend inviting some people into your personal imaginary safe place. But, personally, as an aspie, I do enjoy my own company and I need that quiet space.

Of course, you may have a selected few whom you’d like to invite and introduced into your safe space. That’s not a problem at all. Just don’t feel forced to share this with anyone, if that’s not you.

Remember, most therapists are not aspies like us, and likely can’t tolerate their own company.

The point is: The Personal Imaginary Safe Place is personal to you, and you only. Don’t let anyone dictate to you what you should have or not have in that space.

Feeling Safe After Trauma Using the Safe Place Method Step 10: Establish Your Escape Route To Your Safe Place

Yay! You’ve made it to the last step! Now, it’s been a long process. If every time we are stressed, we have to go through all those steps again, it would be rather painful. What’s more, if you were able to remember all those steps and go through them one by one as described, you’re probably not that stressed anyway.

Flashbacks and nightmares from PTSD or traumas are horrid. So, we need a fast track to the safe place you’ve just created.

The fast track is simple. Create a password, a secrete key for your safe place. It doesn’t matter where you are, or what you are doing. Whenever you want to go to your imaginary safe place, say your password and imagine a large golden key opening the door that leads you into this beautiful place.

Practice this entry procedure. The more your do it, the more natural it will become. And before you know it, you can transport yourself to that imaginary safe place as and when you need it.

Yes, feeling safe after trauma using the safe place method can work wonders for you.