As told by Amy Richardson*
Parents, Watch Out For Your Toddler’s Subtle Signs of Aspergers, don’t let academic brilliance mask the subtle signs of Aspergers, and protect your children from harm. They need you.
Amy Richardson*
First Sign of Autism at 18 Months Old
Hello, my name is Amy Richardson*, the daughter of a lovely couple who had spent a fortune in raising me and caring for me. I have never lacked anything materially. Dad was stationed overseas with good money, and mom worked overtime to provide for her own security. As far as I know, I had to go through a major operation when I was 18 months old, and it was then, that the doctors told mom and dad to look out for autism in me. Well, that didn’t go down well, and it was all but forgotten. Little did they know that nearly 40 years later, I would be diagnose with Aspergers as an adult.
So, how did the doctors know that I had autism when I was only 18 months old? The truth is they couldn’t know for sure. All they said was they had observe very clear signs in me, but it was too soon to tell. So, they advised my parents to keep a close eye on thins. According to my grandfather, here are some of the things that the doctors and nurses have observed:
- The toddler didn’t respond when my name was called
- The toddler showed no emotional expressions when my parents were visiting or were about to leave
- The toddler didn’t seem to be a need to be cuddled or picked up or otherwise obtain the attention from other adults
- Even with deliberate encouragement to interact, the toddler didn’t have the normal reaction of smiling or imitating.
- The toddler might have failed to imitate gestures and facial expressions the lack of eye contact
- Also, the toddler had no interest in playing with others. The toddler was always hiding in a corner waiting for all the toddlers to disappear, and then she would line up the toys and put them in some kind of groups.
- The toddler had minimal reaction to pain. Apparently, the doctor said, “I’ve never seen a child like it before. Most kids won’t be able to tolerate the pain. But for her, it seems no matter what I did, she was just there laying still”.
- Finally, the toddler was practically non-verbal. If pushed, there might be a nod or shake of the head. But that was it! It was well-known in the family that it is pointless to ask anything that couldn’t be responded with a nod or a shake of my head.
Aspergers and Split Personalities
Growing up, I was thought to be shy and timid. But my parents and relatives also observed times when I was very outspoken about things. My black and white thinking was certainly something that annoyed them at times. Sometimes, they’d say I have split personalities. And that’s kind of true.
Now looking back, I realize that’s where I, having Aspergers, was different from other autistic kids. You see. When I was at school or having to meet new people, I wasn’t sure what was expected of me. So, just like it was at the hospital, I naturally tuck myself in a corner and tried my very best to be invisible.
I knew I couldn’t hide for long. So, I would always observe and study what people are doing and pay attention to exactly what people are saying to each other. That was super-fast learning, and pretending to be like everyone else. For the most part, I did rather well in hiding my internal fears.
By the time I got home or when I was in a more familiar environment, I felt more relaxed and I’d say thing as they are. That’s when I learned that people don’t have the kind of thinking I have. But it was ok. I just thought some people were very emotional, and made decisions based on gut feelings rather than facts. I was alright with that.
Academic Brilliance Masked Aspergers Symptoms
Whether it was at school or at college, I was seen as the model student in class. I was quiet and I got on with the work. As I was deeply interested in animals, and loved anything to do with science, I was always asking sensible questions. So my academic brilliance masked my aspergers symptoms:
- I was asking sensible questions, so that’s a form of social interaction, right? Autistic kids aren’t suppose to talk, well so they thought
- Sensible questions implied ability to follow the discussion, right? Autistic kids aren’t supposed to be bright. Well…. WRONG!
- Following the discussion means you’re not daydreaming, right? Autistic kids aren’t supposed to be connected with what’s going on around them. Well, that just depends. It just so happens that the topic and my intense interest matched.
In any case, we can see why my aspergers was not picked up at school or college.
I Could Have Avoided Complex PTSD
It was quite by chance that I came to know other people with Aspergers, and began to learn more about the condition. It’s almost 10 years since I was officially diagnose. Looking back, if my subtle signs as aspergers were picked up when I was a toddler, I probably would have escaped many traumas and I wouldn’t have to battle with Complex PTSD:
- People have always asked, “Why do you have to be different all the time”? I knew I was different, but I couldn’t quite tell why
- I became a target of bullying because some kids found my autistic traits annoying
- The bullying later turned into brutal beating and outright sexual abuse. I had no idea of the social norm, and thought it was the normal thing to do when people hated you.
- When I was much older, I was again sexually abused and raped, because I didn’t see the very clear warning signs that things aren’t going right.
Nobody told me how to deal with bullies at school, nor was I told anything about appropriate boundaries between opposite sex. As I am not that way inclined, I have never crossed that mark myself. But when awful things happened, and these things were discussed with my social worker, I realized that there were early signs that others would have picked up.
So: Parents, Watch Out For Your Toddler’s Subtle Signs of Aspergers
Editorial notes:
*The name has been changed to maintain confidentiality.
#Thank you Amy for sharing this insightful piece of writing. I’m sure the parents would really appreciate your advice.